This is the answer to the question you've all been asking.
"How do you fly with a baby, a 2 year old and a 4 year old by yourself?"
The answer I'm going to give is less of a "pack 3 of these and none of these" type of answer and more of a "set your mind in the right place" type.
This advice can apply to parenting in so many aspects, not just on a plane.
1. Eliminate expectations. Don't expect to read your book or watch the in flight movie. Don't expect your kids to want to do the activities you brought for them. Don't expect them to nap. Don't expect the people around you to be helpful. Don't expect there to be an empty seat next to you. You get the point.
I found that I am most frustrated, on edge with the kids on the plane when something isn't going "as expected." I made the mistake of trying to watch a movie while 2 of the kids were napping on one of my flights. Well, guess who was frustrated when I had to get up 8000 times to help someone during the movie and only ended up seeing an hour of it? Me.
What about when you pack the best snacks, the favorite coloring activities and everyone's favorite shows to watch on the DVD player and someone doesn't want to do any of that? What happens when you take all the kids to the bathroom in the airport before you leave so that you won't have to do it more than once on the plane and someone needs to use the potty 5 times on the plane? Do you get upset? Would you be as upset if you didn't expect to only go once?
Much like at home, when I expect to be able to get the kids to bed without any hassle I become upset when it doesn't happen. If I don't expect them to behave perfectly then I am far less disappointed and can actually deal with the situation better. NOT that I am lowering my standard for their behavior. Don't get me wrong. I am just reframing MY mind so that I can respond to the situation more appropriately.
2. Take your time. Don't worry about the people in line behind you and the angry looks on their faces. Arrive early, relax. Rushing and anxiety, oozes off you and onto the kids. Only in kids, it will take the form of whininess, confusion and disobedience.
When you get to security, take your time getting everyone's shoes off, etc. The people behind you will survive waiting an extra few seconds so that you can make sure your kids remain happy and calm and all the right things are placed in the right bins and the stroller is folded and the baby doesn't go through the x-ray, etc.
3. Be mindful about what you say and how you say it. Keep your tone low and friendly. Use respectful words with your children. You may be on edge and they may be taking too long to put their shoes back on after security but you still shouldn't yell at them. Your children are people, talk to them as you would, say, someone else's kids. Even if yours is ALWAYS slow, you wouldn't snap at someone else's kid in security and tell him "what's wrong?! hurry it up!"
Your two year old may be bouncing off the walls on the plane and crying because she doesn't want to stay in her seat. Take a deep breath and close your eyes before you start responding. If you find yourself becoming increasingly frustrated or angry, take a moment to say a prayer. Whether you like it or not, your children will mirror your emotions. The calmer you are, the calmer they are more likely to be.
An airplane ride isn't a time for them to get whatever they want. Be consistent in your discipline but take note of what is most important. Sometimes a little grace is in order. The flight isn't just stressful for you, it is stressful for them as well.
4. Play with your children. The best way to entertain a child on a plane is to play with them. You may be tired of reading the same 4 stories over and over or bored to tears with making up silly stories but your kids love it. This becomes increasingly more difficult the larger the ratio of children to adults is but do what you can. Give everyone attention, not just the squeaky wheel.
Make up a traveling tradition or special travel game. How fun would it be to be 4 and know that every time you road on an airplane you would get some special snack (or gum?) and play "I Spy" with mom? You get the point, be creative, be fun.
See now, it isn't that hard, is it? I suppose I should write something in the future about how to be prepared for everything. You know, the "What should I bring with me?" answer. Check out my new post about what you should and should NOT bring on the plane.
Does reframing your mind help you when interacting with your children? What do you find most useful in keeping kids calm and on track?
UPDATED: I did not mean to give the wrong impression that I believe you should let your children run wild on an airplane. I firmly believe that when a parent is calm, respectful, interactive and well behaved, the children will be calmer and well behaved. I do not mean to brag but this works very well for me. We always get compliments from our fellow passengers on the airplane about how well behaved my children are. I am sorry if anyone has gotten the wrong impression.
