The Train To Crazy

To leave or not to leave (the house)

I've been having a bit of a discussion on facebook about how often different people leave the house with their kids during the day. You know, on those days when it is just you and the kids. It seems like most people average leaving the house about once a day. Of course, some people prefer not to leave and others prefer not to stay home. Some even leave the house 3 or more times during the day.

I lean more toward the once a day side. I'm a home body so it doesn't bother me (usually) to stay in the whole day if we have to. I really hate feeling like we have too many things scheduled. I try not to plan more than 1 trip a day whether it is a play date, lesson, mom's group, or a trip to the park (we have no yard). Other than that we like to do things around here. 

I am really interested in hearing how the other side lives. Here are my reasons for liking to stick around the house more; 

•  We read more and do more learning activities.
•  It takes a lot of work getting out of the house!
• I like the kids to nap in their beds, as much as possible.
• We can stick to our routines when we stay home more.
• We eat out less.
• The girls play REALLY well together at home.

Keeping these things in mind, here are the reasons I like to go out;

• Change of scenery
• Playing outside is fun
• Seeing friends is tons of fun
• Exercise
• Seeing something new, learning something

These are the reasons I hate going out;

• Shopping, for anything. I'm not a mall girl and I'm not a fan of 3 kids in the grocery store. We do it, but I'd rather not!
• Running errands. Getting everyone in and out of the car multiple times is just torturous. Which may be odd because the kids don't mind and are really well behaved. 

So, how often do you get out of the house? Where do you go? Do you get out more to do stuff for you or stuff for the kids? More shopping and seeing your friends or more parks and beaches? Do you schedule things or just go with the flow? It is really intriguing me how different we all are.

Friends for life

You can say what you want about having children close together but the bond that forms really is magical. A best friend for life.

Because a sibling is forever...

For more "friends" check out I Should Be Folding Laundry.

My all time favorite toys for babies

It is no secret that babies don't need a lot of toys. In fact, you may already own many of these items. 

0-6 Months: 

Something easy to hold, transfer between hands and chew on. We have these rings. I think they only cost a few dollars in the store. Handy for keeping track of toys in the stroller as well. Just hook them to the toy and to the stroller and you'll never be picking up a toy off the dirty ground. Perfect for two tiny hands to hold and chew on.

Something to bang together. Anything will work but I like these blocks. Good for later use as well. These cost about $6 in a store. Can you believe the prices online?! Of course, you can bang lots of household items together as well. Measuring spoons are always a hit.

Something to chew and suck on. A wet wash cloth is great for this. Teethers are also good. 

A mirror. You can hold her up in front of the bathroom mirror or buy a special baby mirror she can hold and look at. We have this one and have gotten our money's worth.

A jumper. My kids all loved these. Any toy that holds them in an upright position seems to be a pretty big hit with the 3 to 6 month crowd.

6-9 Months

Play silks. From peek-a-boo to covering baby's head to stuffing them in an empty kleenex box for baby to empty they are one of my favorite baby toys. Maggie goes nuts over these. I bought a bunch for around $2 a piece online with the intent to dye them colors but I rather like them plain.

Something to shake. Like this, or possibly this. Or really, fill an old plastic easter egg with rice or beans and hot glue it shut.

A ball. It rolls. Babies this age love to roll the ball back and forth to you- or try at least.

Different textures. You can buy fancy texture toys or special texture books or just fill a plastic bowl of different textured (safe) things you have around the house.

Cause and effect toys. There are tons of toys out there that fit this bill. Anything where you push a button or slide a lever and something happens. Not necessarily battery operated. You can probably find something in your house to fit this bill as well. Obviously a ball is cause and effect. The DVD player buttons are cause and effect as well. Pulling mom's hair is a good one.

A stuffed animal. Not all kids even pay any attention to them at this age but I like to keep them around. They are soft and snugly and cute.

A play table. All babies are different but sometime around this age babies can hold their weight on their own legs and love standing and playing. There are all types of tables from wooden ones to lego building ones to plastic noisy ones. Just make sure it is age appropriate (no babies this age can do legos or these) and sturdy. I've been to many play areas with unstable wooden play tables. We have this one and even though it is noisy, everyone loves it.

A box or a bowl. Fill it full of fun little things to dump out. Endless fun.

9 to 12 months

A "baby". I love to see the look on a baby's face when they see a baby doll. Such joy.

Musical toys. Pots and wooden spoons or real toys, whatever. Babies love making noise.

Shape sorters. While we have this one (remember it is only $6, not $59), the 3 ball tennis can is our favorite first shape sorter. Of course, they all fit in the hole. This is actually something this age group can accomplish. The other shape sorters are fun toys but most babies can't actually get the shapes in the holes themselves.

Nesting blocks or cups or stacking rings. Good for stacking and destroying as well as banging together or nesting. Plastic measuring cups can work well for nesting. They are also a good bath toy.

A kitchen drawer. All those great plastic bowls and lids and wooden spoons and measuring cups can keep a baby entertained for a while.

A push toy. Doesn't have to be fancy, just stable. Of course, not all babies this age will be able to do this but you can always help them. They will love it.

A ride on toy. This may be a bit advanced for some babies but my oldest played on this bouncing pony from ten months on. A definite favorite in our house. Hours and hours of riding the range. 

Of course, there are tons of other great toys out there you can clutter your house with, and I have my house cluttered with, but I think this is a pretty good list of toys that are really nice to have. What would you add or subtract?

 

I don't know what it is like to to an adoptive parent. I'm not sure what it feels like to know my child has another set of parents out there, somewhere, possibly. I have no idea how she felt. All I know is that she encouraged her son to find his birth parents. She wanted him to know where he came from. She wanted him to meet his birth mother, whoever she was. And that is how I met my brother. A gift she gave us that we can never repay her for. I was just 13 years old and I will never, ever forget the moment I learned of his existence. Or the moment I met him. Or the first birthday gift he ever gave me. Or the way his hair was cut. Or the way he looked just like us. Or the hug he gave me. My brother. Who I have known for over half my life now and can't imagine life any other way. 

I do not know what it would be like to encourage your child to have a relationship with his biological family. But for that, I am eternally grateful. In her passing, I realize just what an amazing person she was and what an incredible gift she gave me. So, to Rose, thank you.

What I'm loving right now

1. Sun, when we can get it! It is unseasonably rainy here in Boston right now. I've been told it isn't usually like this in July but either way I'm not impressed! We've had a few great sunny days though that we've thoroughly enjoyed.

2.  Beaches! I love playing in the surf. The girls seem to share my love of the ocean. Thankfully the ocean here is warm enough to go in to. A luxury we just didn't have in Seattle.

3. Books! I went crazy buying books last week. You can get some great deals on Amazon Marketplace and other sites on used books that look like new. We are especially enjoying the Flip Flap Body Book. The girls love this one. There are 3 chapters. The first talks about where food goes when you eat it. The second talks about the 5 senses and the third is about how babies grow. Good stuff. I also love The McElderberry Book of Aesop's Fables. There are many others as well.

4. Zucchini banana bread. Yum. I'll have to post my recipe soon. The girls and I did a taste test last week and I think we have a favorite recipe. We made four different recipes in one day and let's just say we ate our fair share. Which brings me to...

5.  Picking berries! So much fun. The girls really enjoy themselves, as do we. 

6.  Road trips! We are attempting to see as much of New England as we can. (Yes, that is a baby covered in baby food) We headed down to Mystic, Connecticut last weekend. So much fun. It took us a whole day to recover after not getting home until 11 p.m. which is unlike us. I definitely want to go back sometime and eat at Mystic Pizza, just because. We have some other short road trips planned for the summer. I am definitely eying Story Land. Anyone been?

7. A late crawling baby. I can't tell you how happy it makes me that she doesn't crawl yet! So much less housework!! Thank you Maggie!

Company

With the lack of computer and the busy life I forgot to mention that we had company for 8 days. Arthur's parents stayed with us in our apartment and it was, unfortunately, rainy half the time they were here. 

We were able to make it to a Red Sox v. Mariners game and do a bit of sight seeing. They even brought little Mariners shirts for the girls to wear to the game.

The girls just loved having company and can't wait for their next company to arrive!

More about flying: What NOT to bring on the plane

Since I already covered the how to stay sane while flying with children, how about I give you all the best and worst ideas about what to bring on the plane to entertain them?

Bad ideas:

playdough for children who don't really know how to play with playdough. If the extent of their play includes pulling it apart and making a mess, leave it at home. You'll thank me later.

stickers that are difficult to pull off the sheet without ripping. Seriously, who wants a frustrated kid on a plane?

crayons that roll. OK, crayons are good, so either get the triangular kind for the little ones or bring an easy container to keep them in so they don't keep rolling off the tray.

beads for making necklaces. See note above about messy things that roll off the tray and cause frustration...

new activities that may be either uninteresting or too difficult. If you aren't sure if your 3 year old can do a dot-to-dot, don't bring it! If you don't know if they'll like playing with Wikki Stix, don't bring them!

markers. There are so many reasons not to bring them.

oversized, heavy activities. No explanation needed.

activities that require supervision or direct parental involvement. This is OK if there is one kid and two parents, or even two kids and two parents but once they have you outnumbered you should keep it simple when possible.

Good ideas:

interesting activity books. Color by number/letter books keep my 4 year old occupied forever. Dot-to-dot pages are good as well. Blank paper and crayons are best for my 2 year old. 

I Spy easy read books. These are easy for non-readers as well as readers. My 2 year old loves looking at these and finding the objects.

A DVD player. Don't count on the in flight movie to be appropriate. Bring favorite shows or home videos. Don't try out a new show!

stickers and blank paper. I've also used notecards instead of blank paper. One idea is to put a number on each notecard so the child can put that number of stickers on each card. They put 8 stickers on a card with an 8 on it, etc. This was mildly entertaining for my girls.

suckers/lollipops. These provide entertainment and last a long time. 

books. Bring the ones they love but not too many.

snacks and meals. A hungry child is never that fun to travel with.

Crayola Color Wonder markers and coloring books. These are wonderful for the younger crowd. No need to worry about anyone coloring on the seats or trays. Or themselves. 

Something to chew on for takeoff and landing. My kids don't do well with gum so other things we've used are fruit snacks, mentos, starburst, dried fruit, carrot sticks, you get the idea. 

A cup with a lid. Those flight attendants will give you lots of drinks but a kid on a bouncy plane with a cup full of juice is a recipe for a wet screaming kid.

Other ideas I've read about but never actually used:

Wikki Stix

Woodkins

video games

What have you used to entertain your kids on a long flight or drive? What worked and what didn't work? How do you get it all on the plane?

Enjoying New England, not the two's

If you look past the INSANE WEATHER here in Boston, we've really been enjoying getting to see the different things this area has to offer. We've done a tiny bit of touristy stuff. All the history is wonderful, but I think I enjoy all the farms and blueberries better. Well, at least in this season. 

We picked blueberries and zucchini at a farm last Sunday. I hate paying for zucchini. If I just knew someone with a garden... Anyway, we enjoyed the picking and the consuming of the fresh fruit and vegetables. We bought some raspberries as well but those didn't even make it to the car. We ate some farm fresh ice cream. Mine was  called something I can't remember but it was a black raspberry ice cream with tiny blueberries, dark chocolate chunks and white chocolate chips. I tiny bit of heaven. If it had some hot fudge...

Farmers' Markets are in full swing as well. All the lovely... greens. OK, there are other things as well but not a ton. But, oh, the ice cream these farmers sell!! Yum! 

I've been trying to enjoy the good weather days when they come by getting out with the girls and going for walks. Me walking, them riding. We always elicit stares and comments and if I had a nickel for every time someone said, "you've got your hands full!" I'd be rich. Richer than rich. But let's be honest. I have my hands full! I am just very grateful for my Ergo. I'm really not sure I'd ever be able to leave the house without it. If, by chance, one of the older girls wants to give up her stroller seat for Maggie, I can still move along at a good pace with one of them on my back. I'm sure I get more stares with a 4 year old on my back while pushing a 9 month old but, it works for us. 

Life in our apartment is an adventure. We are still in the throes of "the two's". Our first adventure with a two year old wasn't nearly this taxing. This child drains us of every last drop of energy we might possibly have. And then, as if to ensure she can wear us down more, she gets up multiple times a night. More than her baby sister. I often wake up with a little friend in bed next to me. Since she sleeps in much longer in her own bed (after 5 a.m.) we try to put her back in her bed when she comes into ours. Well, the little stinker often wears me down. In fact, I get a lot of traffic through my blog with people looking for answers about toddler's sleep. Well folks, I am still struggling myself. My least favorite phrase right now is, "I having a hard time sleeping." It wouldn't bother me if I heard this 5 minutes into her being in bed, trying to sleep. That isn't the case, not exactly. She starts this chant when we mention it is bedtime, all through our bedtime routine and then for the following hour while we do the put back to bed routine with her. I am praying that the whole "they get harder at three" does not apply to this child. Oh Lord, have mercy on us! And don't even get me started on her daytime behavior!

Now that I have the computer back I plan to take the pictures off my camera. Whenever that happens I share them with you. Though, I do not have a whole lot of motivation right now. Have I mentioned I have my hands full?

The easiest buttermilk pancakes

I've made a handful of different pancake recipes in the past few weeks and have settled on a tasty, easy recipe. I always look for a recipe that doesn't require separating eggs and isn't fussy. It also has to include ingredients I have on hand. This one fits that bill for me. We eat pancakes enough to be worth it to keep some buttermilk on hand. To make the next pancake breakfast even easier just mix up the dry ingredients and put them in a jar to be quickly mixed with the egg and buttermilk when you have a pancake craving. Easy Buttermilk Pancakes (from Recipezaar)

• 1 cup cake flour or all-purpose flour
• 1 teaspoon sugar
• 1 teaspoon baking powder
• 1/2 teaspoon baking soda
• 1/2 teaspoon salt
• 1 egg, lightly beaten
• 1 cup buttermilk
• 2 tablespoons melted butter

Mix the dry ingredients. Add the wet ingredients. Mix until just combined. Do not over mix. It will be a bit lumpy, that's O.K. This recipe serves 4 people, if you are light eaters and there are other things to eat. I double it. I always have cake flour on hand. I've also made it with half cake flour and half unbleached flour. It is best with all cake flour but it is still good with all purpose flour.

Life without a computer

I've been without my computer for a few days and likely won't have one for another week. I'll be taking a break from posting but will be available via email if you need me! See you next week!

Reflections on Independence Day

Independence Day. The day the United States declared it's independence from England. The celebration of our freedom. The celebration of our "American culture". A day to be thankful. A day to reflect.

Today I sat at Fenway, watching the Mariners defeat the Red Sox, wondering what it is about America that I love, and what I wish were different. Let's start with what is good, and worth celebrating. First and foremost, the ideal that all people are equal and free. This is not something to be taken lightly, ask anyone you know that lives in a "less free" society. Ask the people of Iran. Ask the people who live in North Korea. Ask the Burmese. Ask most of the people in the entire world. Yes, freedom is a good thing. Tomorrow I will go to the church of my choosing and worship my God and face absolutely no persecution. This is good.

I am not as pleased with the self centeredness and shallowness that is "American society." This past week was a prime example to me. A very famous musician (you may know who I am talking about) died a rather mysterious, untimely death. Wow. Did the media have a field day. I don't have cable but from what I gathered there was an endless amount of news time devoted to him. Did you hear about churches honoring him? People all freaking out about him? Meanwhile, let me just think for a moment about what I would consider slightly more important news.

The military in Honduras forcefully removed it's president and a new president was put into place without election. The new government is vowing to move forward with elections.

Did I mention the protesters in Iran that were beaten and murdered because they believe the recent presidential election was not fairly counted? How about the British Embassy staff that were arrested and will probably stand trial in Iran on claims they orchestrated these protests?

More foreign aid workers were kidnapped in Darfur. Yes, remember Darfur? Haven't seen it in the news much lately have you?

The unemployment rate in the U.S. was reported to have risen to 9.5%. That's high. That's very high. Do you know what the U.S. government is doing to try to bring us out of this deep recession? Do you know what economists are recommending? 

President Obama's new anti-illegal immigrant policies are starting to move forward. Companies are now becoming accountable to recruiting and employing illegal immigrants rather than the workers being snatched from their workplaces or homes. 

Did I scratch the surface on more important news events? Did any of this actually reach the majority of the people living in our country? Whose fault is this? Should we blame the media? I think not. The media just responds to what we want to watch. Have you noticed all the magazines disappearing from shelves? So many magazines and newspapers going under. Still, we have Star and Us Weekly and People and all the other "news" magazines in full force. WE are more interested in the lives of celebrities than the lives of everyone else in the world, combined. We would rather read about some reality TV show couple facing divorce than our neighbors joining the ranks of the unemployed, than the starving children in Uganda, than the human rights violations of so many places.

So today, as a reflection on my freedom, our freedom, I say we use that freedom to chose to learn more about our world, our economy, the things that matter. Let's use our freedom to chose which articles we click through to. If you click on an article about a celebrity doing such and such or a bear wandering into a business in Alaska then we are telling our media what we want. Let's do ourselves and our world a favor and use our "vote" for what matters.

How to travel on a plane with children: The best advice

This is the answer to the question you've all been asking. 

"How do you fly with a baby, a 2 year old and a 4 year old by yourself?"

The answer I'm going to give is less of a "pack 3 of these and none of these" type of answer and more of a "set your mind in the right place" type.

This advice can apply to parenting in so many aspects, not just on a plane. 

1. Eliminate expectations. Don't expect to read your book or watch the in flight movie. Don't expect your kids to want to do the activities you brought for them. Don't expect them to nap. Don't expect the people around you to be helpful. Don't expect there to be an empty seat next to you. You get the point.

I found that I am most frustrated, on edge with the kids on the plane when something isn't going "as expected." I made the mistake of trying to watch a movie while 2 of the kids were napping on one of my flights. Well, guess who was frustrated when I had to get up 8000 times to help someone during the  movie and only ended up seeing an hour of it? Me. 

What about when you pack the best snacks, the favorite coloring activities and everyone's favorite shows to watch on the DVD player and someone doesn't want to do any of that? What happens when you take all the kids to the bathroom in the airport before you leave so that you won't have to do it more than once on the plane and someone needs to use the potty 5 times on the plane? Do you get upset? Would you be as upset if you didn't expect to only go once?

Much like at home, when I expect to be able to get the kids to bed without any hassle I become upset when it doesn't happen. If I don't expect them to behave perfectly then I am far less disappointed and can actually deal with the situation better. NOT that I am lowering my standard for their behavior. Don't get me wrong. I am just reframing MY mind so that I can respond to the situation more appropriately. 

2. Take your time. Don't worry about the people in line behind you and the angry looks on their faces. Arrive early, relax. Rushing and anxiety, oozes off you and onto the kids. Only in kids, it will take the form of whininess, confusion and disobedience. 

When you get to security, take your time getting everyone's shoes off, etc. The people behind you will survive waiting an extra few seconds so that you can make sure your kids remain happy and calm and all the right things are placed in the right bins and the stroller is folded and the baby doesn't go through the x-ray, etc.

3. Be mindful about what you say and how you say it. Keep your tone low and friendly. Use respectful words with your children. You may be on edge and they may be taking too long to put their shoes back on after security but you still shouldn't yell at them. Your children are people, talk to them as you would, say, someone else's kids. Even if yours is ALWAYS slow, you wouldn't snap at someone else's kid in security and tell him "what's wrong?! hurry it up!"

Your two year old may be bouncing off the walls on the plane and crying because she doesn't want to stay in her seat. Take a deep breath and close your eyes before you start responding. If you find yourself becoming increasingly frustrated or angry, take a moment to say a prayer. Whether you like it or not, your children will mirror your emotions. The calmer you are, the calmer they are more likely to be.

An airplane ride isn't a time for them to get whatever they want. Be consistent in your discipline but take note of what is most important. Sometimes a little grace is in order. The flight isn't just stressful for you, it is stressful for them as well. 

4. Play with your children. The best way to entertain a child on a plane is to play with them. You may be tired of reading the same 4 stories over and over or bored to tears with making up silly stories but your kids love it. This becomes increasingly more difficult the larger the ratio of children to adults is but do what you can. Give everyone attention, not just the squeaky wheel. 

Make up a traveling tradition or special travel game. How fun would it be to be 4 and know that every time you road on an airplane you would get some special snack (or gum?) and play "I Spy" with mom? You get the point, be creative, be fun. 

See now, it isn't that hard, is it? I suppose I should write something in the future about how to be prepared for everything. You know, the "What should I bring with me?" answer. Check out my new post about what you should and should NOT bring on the plane.

Does reframing your mind help you when interacting with your children? What do you find most useful in keeping kids calm and on track?

UPDATED: I did not mean to give the wrong impression that I believe you should let your children run wild on an airplane. I firmly believe that when a parent is calm, respectful, interactive and well behaved, the children will be calmer and well behaved. I do not mean to brag but this works very well for me. We always get compliments from our fellow passengers on the airplane about how well behaved my children are. I am sorry if anyone has gotten the wrong impression.