The Train To Crazy

Sick but thankful

I've had the flu for a few days now. Sick, sick, sick.  Nothing staying down for a few days and my dear husband out of town. My house is for sale and at the most inopportune time someone might call and ask to see it... you get the picture.

BUT, I'm thankful. I HAVE a house. A comfortable bed on which to attempt to sleep on. A clean toilet to throw up in (believe me, this is a blessing. I've thrown up in nasty toilets that empty out onto train tracks, on a moving train). Children that were on their best behavior for their sick mama. I said best behavior, not perfect behavior! And on and on.

I love...

...Swedish Pancakes

...baby playing with her daddy. He's gone this week. We love and we miss him.

...family time

...lounging on sick days.

...Grandma loving on baby

There were so many things I love I couldn't choose just one.

Head over to I Should Be Folding Laundry to participate in You Capture.

O.K. Better photos...

For those of you who don't know my family, you may not appreciate the terrible pictures I posted as a farewell to my brother. These are better. One of my other brothers took these.

They still have 17 hours of traveling left! 

The Bedtime Routine

I've been rolling this idea through my head for a few months now. A nightly checklist for my girls to "check off" at bedtime. I think it will eliminate some of the resistance and whining we sometimes encounter. I am not an artist (obviously), but I drew this. 

I plan to have the girls color the pictures. I'll laminate the sheet and then at night when they finish a task they can put a check next to the picture with a dry erase marker. Either that or I'll laminate some oversized checks and put a little velcro on the back so they can stick them to the list. We'll see. Feel free to use the list or make your own. Just don't make money off it ;)

Download Bedtime 

Farewell for now!

My brother and his family are leaving in the morning for Liberia. They'll be there for 18 months as missionaries. He will be supervising construction projects and Jamie will be homeschooling their sons. I was fortunate to spend some time with them last weekend. I just want to tell them I love them and am proud of them! I thought they'd love these terrible photos I snapped of them.

This is Rusty.

and Jamie

and Christopher

and Kobe (I couldn't get a bad picture of him)

and Colton

I'll miss you all!!!

How do you survive a difficult child?

People have been asking me for parenting advice since long before I had children. Occupational hazard. Most common questions were "how to I get my ___ year old to stop ____" etc, etc. Since my expertise (and I use that word lightly) was not with preschool aged children I used to tell them I didn't know but offer some sort of advice which I now look back on as not being half bad. My favorite was when a mom (and a great mom at that) asked how she could get her two year old to stop getting into her makeup and her older sister's markers, etc. I said, "put them up where they can't be reached."  Good, right! I know it isn't what she wanted to hear. She wanted me to give her a way to teach her child obedience. That is way harder! 

I am currently surrounded by a lot of moms who are struggling with their preschool children. Struggling with strong willed children, highly sensitive children, special needs children, and even "normal" children, whatever that means. These are smart moms, good moms, moms who do their research and are having difficulty getting through this phase. Can you relate?

Jenna writes;

i need something tangible that works. these past few months (since she's turned 4 in november) have been out of control. big ol' throw down kicking screaming, and yelling temper tantrums. not your average 2 year old tantrums either. you know they talk about the terrible twos? the twos were nothin! i'd take the twos anyday! its the 3's and 4's that are the hard part! have you ever heard that kid screaming in target yelling at his mother that he "won't leave the toy isle!", yeah, that's me. 
and what's worse, i have little brother (19 months) who is watching everything like a hawk. and i see bits in him that are just as strong willed if not more determined than big sissy. scary thought. 
but i'm committed to my daughter. i will not lose this fight for her. because i do feel like its a spiritual battle and i'm on my knees fighting for her soul. 

So here I am asking you to throw your experiences out there.  What helped you get through the tough times? What kept you sane? Did you find any techniques useful? I know, you could all write your own book about this so feel free to write a long comment or write your own blog post and leave us the link! 

Thirtysomething

It's my birthday! It is somehow fitting that I am now thirtysomething and only had thirtysomething straight minutes of sleep last night. The flu has come to town. Arthur had a whole day of events planned for me and instead he had to work and I'm taking care of one sick kid, one stir crazy kid and a baby. All while attempting to keep the house clean.

So I've decided that what I want for my birthday is for you to say hi! Who are all of you?

Living in a museum and other tales of selling a house

I feel like I have boxed up half of our belongings and taken 40 trips to Goodwill and our house is still full of stuff. How does this happen?! Our house is now officially for sale. I am praying it sells quickly and for a great price... praying.

If getting the house ready to sell was hard, imagine keeping it spotless at every moment while having a four month old, a two year old and a three year old. Say what? We have a dining room, a kitchen table and a breakfast bar area and all are fully set for "staging." We eat on the floor. One less surface to clean that way at least! We don't use the towels that are hung up, we use the ones hanging on the inside of the closet door. We don't put diapers in the diaper pail, we take them all the way out. We don't have many toys out. Seriously, we took 95% of the toys out of the house, less to pick up in a hurry. The list goes on. I'm hoping not to go insane!

I have to say that I am rather pleased with how great I've gotten the house looking. I know it isn't ideal to wait until you are moving to decorate your house, but it just wasn't functional or a top priority before. We didn't have any furniture (other than play furniture) in our family room before. All our rooms were a bit cluttered on most days. Dishes didn't always get done right away. That is functional. This is not functional for a long period of time but I sure like living in this museum...

Have you lived in a house when it was for sale? How did you keep it looking ready to show at any moment? Any tricks?

Toddler and Preschooler Sleep Wisdom: Early Waking

This is my 4th installment of what I call "wisdom" but we all know that is in jest because something new comes up every day to stump me.  You can read post 1, 2, and 3 to learn more about the bits of knowledge I've acquired thus far!

Early waking is the killer of happy mornings in my house. If I want to get up at 6:00 a.m. to take on the day that is one thing, if someone forces me to get up at 6 that is another thing all together!! Can I get an amen?  (sorry, it just felt right there)

I highly recommend having a time that is "too early" for your kids to get up.  I'd suggest 6:00.  I know for some people that feels like the middle of the night still but it is probably O.K. for a kid to wake up at that time. But of course, you run your house so whatever you want! (laughter ensues...) Now, how do you enforce a minimum wake up time you might ask? I have only suggestions. We struggle with this around here.

1. Talk to your kiddos in the daylight hours about what you expect of them in the mornings. Let them know if they wake up too early you are going to put them back to bed. Let them know what they are and are not allowed to do when they wake up early. Daphne loves to wake up EARLY and flip on the lights in the house. Not cool. Is reading in bed quietly an O.K. activity or do you want them to try to fall back asleep? These are things to talk about during the day, that way when you have to remind them in the morning they'll remember what you are talking about.

2. If wandering around the house isn't allowed, get your tired behind out of bed and lead her back to hers until it is time to get up. I know we are all tired but the longer you allow it the harder it will be to break.

3. This one I am really excited about and haven't actually tried it yet. Put a nightlight on a timer so that it goes ON at the time it is acceptable to get out of bed. That's right, on. This is a great visual way to teach time since most little ones can't look at a clock and see what time it is. You can buy timers for outlets at any hardware store or Target, etc. I got one for $6 at Lowes and can't wait to use it. The theory is that the light shouldn't actually wake anyone if they are sleeping but if they are awake they can look at it to see if it is O.K. to get out of bed.

4. Get a My Tot Clock: Helping Small Children Sleep Better...So Parents Can Too! alarm clock that changes colors when it is O.K. to get out of bed. I want one! Brilliant. Seriously, get one and let me know how it works!

What strategies have worked for you? What are you struggling with?

The not quite essentials for newborns

Once you pick up the essentials for your newborn and all your essentials for breastfeeding you can start thinking about the things that are pretty good to have as well...  

A reclining umbrella stroller.  I never had one of the big stroller/car seat combos and didn't miss it at all.  I had a universal infant car seat stroller with my first and it was really great to have.  After the first few months or so we only used our umbrella stroller.  I haven't used a stroller at all yet with this baby and she is 4 months old, so you decide. If you do a lot of walking or jogging you can consider getting something three wheeled with air filled tires.  This is a great website for reviews. Most jogging strollers don't recline so you can't use then at first. Make sure they'll fit in your car before you buy them!!

Play Mat .  My girls always loved laying on these and looking at the dangling animals.  Lots of entertainment.  All of the girls have been in love with the lion and giraffe in this set.

Cradle Swing. I highly recommend getting a swing if you can.  It helps some babies fall asleep and it makes other babies happy.  Rarely do babies hate swings.  I love the cradle swing because it reclines a lot and can be adjusted to more of a seat. More importantly, it can swing from side to side or back and forth.  I've also had a swing that is a bouncy seat/swing combo but I wouldn't recommend it. It does save space but I'm not a big fan.

Baby Monitor. I use these a bit with my kids. I've never lived in a place that I couldn't hear babies on the other end of the house but if you go outside to the yard while one is sleeping you'll never hear without a monitor. Check reviews online when deciding which one to get.  Make sure it is a different frequency than your cordless phones or any wireless router you have in your house. I have one that has sounds and lights up with noise and I like it a lot. It isn't available anymore but it is a First Years brand and is still working well.  It has some rubber on the sides of the receiver which has probably kept it from getting broken since it has been abused slightly over the years. The video monitors aren't necessary but if you want one, go for it.

Pacifiers. Buy them right before baby is born and don't open them!  Keep the receipts taped to them just in case you don't need them and need to return them. After baby is born you may want them and some kids want to try out a few kinds to find what they like. We like MAM around here. They come in different sizes so make sure you get the 0+ ones and then when they turn about 6 months old get the bigger ones.

A crib. Even if you are going to co-sleep, you might want baby to take naps in a crib.  OR, you might get a baby that isn't a fan of co-sleeping, which can happen! You may want something in your room so baby can sleep there for the first few month.  You can also use a mini crib or Pack N Play, or a Co-sleeper, Mini Arm's Reach Co-sleeper, or a Close & Secure Sleeper. Of course, there are bassinets as well.  It is really up to you.  Check them out, see what you like.  Remember that bassinets are outgrown within a couple months usually.  If you use a Pack N Play it will have more longevity but it isn't that comfortable.  We used a mini crib and loved it.  Daphne slept in it until she was 1 because Naomi was still in the full sized crib.  The mattress that comes with those is usually very thin so think about buying a better one. Whatever you do, try out some cribs in a store to see what features you like best.  If you want one that has a drop side, what kind do you want, etc.

Crib Sheets & Mattress Pads. No matter which way you go as far as a crib or bassinet goes, you'll need waterproof mattress covers and sheets.  Get at least 2 waterproof mattress covers and 2 sheets. Accidents happen at night and you'll want to have a spare in case you need it. Spring for the fitted kind of waterproof pads if you can. There is a lot of debate about crib bumpers and I am of the opinion that you don't need them and they are dangerous. If you absolutely must have a bumper, get the Breathable Baby Crib Bumper.

Rocker/Glider.  Not mandatory but nice to have.

Blankets. We like to use blankets on the floor or couch when we lay babies down. This helps protect the floor AND the baby! They are also good for in the stroller and car seat. Beyond quilts and lap blankets I have enjoyed having Bundle Me blankets.  They come in different sizes, colors and styles.

Clothes. Babies go through a lot of these.  If you want to go beyond my sleeper and onesie recommendation, don't go nuts. Most babies will grow out of the 0-3 month size well before 3 months.  

Changing Pad. These are handy whether you have an official changing table or not. This cover is the best, so soft and cuddly.  I have others but this is by far my favorite.

Waterproof changing mats. I have a few of these and use them a lot. They are great in diaper bags or when changing baby on the floor or a bed.

Baby bathtub. Bath thermometer.   I had a bathtub with my first two and can't find it now. I wish I still had it, they are useful but a sink will work fine for a while. I miss the tub now that Maggie is getting bigger. A thermometer isn't necessary at all but I had one and was surprised at how warm I liked my bath water! Too hot for babies! Baby temp was colder than I had guessed.

Sleep Sacks. Love these.  We use them after babies stop being swaddled (sometime between 4 and 5 months for us) until they are in a big bed. Skip the smaller sizes because they aren't necessary. 

Miracle Blanket. Babies are wiggly. Most babies will learn to break free from a swaddle before they are ready to sleep on their own. You don't NEED these, but they've helped my kids sleep much better.

Head support. Most car seats and strollers are not made to support babies heads correctly. You could always use a rolled blanket or let baby's head wobble but I like these. 

I'm sure I missed things that are handy. But, like I said, none of it is absolutely necessary! What else would you add to this list?  What would you take off?

My "bad, bad boy" and other tales

Life has been interesting around here lately.  I am pretty sure my nerves are shot and my brain is fried.  Getting a house ready to sell is no easy task with three little ones. We are thinking we should have decorated when we moved in, rather than when we were moving out... but that is another story.

I love to sit and think about my children. Smile about their awesome little personalities (or BIG personalities as it may be) and wonder what Maggie will be like. It truly amazes me that Naomi and Daphne can be SO different.  I can't think of one way that they are alike. Can you? I love them so much.  But on to the shot nerves...

I don't remember Naomi being such a difficult two year old! AAAAHHHH!!!!!! Daphne is such a bear sometimes.  She is bull headed and defiant and willful and mean at times. I'm sure she'll mellow out in the coming year, or at the very least it will serve her well as an adult (not the mean part) but I'm having a hard time waiting for those days to come.

Her thing for the past few days has been saying she is a "bad, bad boy." The boy part isn't new. She has enjoyed calling herself a boy since she figured out what a boy was. I think she does it because it gets Naomi riled up. She will do ANYTHING to get Naomi going. The part that concerns me is that when I talk with them about how they are not bad girls (or boys) and there is a difference between doing something bad and being bad, Daphne smiles and says, "no, I'm a bad, bad boy." O.K. She does enjoy being contrary, but I really do think she enjoys doing bad things too! I won't get into all the "bad" things, but don't rule anything out.

How did you get through the "two's"? 

Naomi's new iphone

O.K.  It isn't exactly what you were thinking.

Saturday morning Naomi made this "eye phone."  Five years ago I would have said, "oh how cute." But now I think it is pretty freaking hilarious!

The BEST Waffles Ever

I've searched high and low for the best, easiest waffle recipe and have found it. The recipe came courtesy of the Food Network and I've made some adjustments to make it easier and a bit healthier.

The mixing takes about 5 minutes and then you just let the batter rest for 30 minutes. No separating eggs or whipping egg whites. The recipe will make 6 4" square belgian waffles. We like to double the recipe because we all love waffles.

Ingredients

• 3/4 cup flour (I mix half whole wheat flour, half unbleached white flour)
• 1/4 cup cornstarch
• 1/2 teaspoon baking powder
• 1/4 teaspoon baking soda
• 1/2 teaspoon salt
• 1 cup nonfat milk 
• 1/3 cup vegetable oil
• 1 egg
• 1 1/2 teaspoons sugar
• 3/4 teaspoon vanilla extract
• Butter and syrup, for serving  

Directions

In a medium bowl, combine the flours, cornstarch, baking powder, baking soda, and salt; mix well. Add the milk, vegetable oil, egg, sugar and vanilla and mix well. Let the batter sit for 30 minutes.

Preheat a waffle iron. Do not use non-stick spray on the waffle iron; the oil in the batter will allow the waffle to release easily. Follow the directions on your waffle iron to cook the waffles. Serve immediately with butter and syrup.

For more Fun Foods visit Randi's Recipe Swap Box.

The amazing faith of a 5 year old

Sometimes you read a story and are completely blown away.  Sometimes it makes you examine your own life.  This is a story like that. 

This is written by Katie, a twenty year old girl living in Uganda, raising nearly a dozen orphans.  

On Tuesday night Sumini, my littlest, randomly asked me before bed where her dad was. This was a funny thing to ask since I have never known her dad. Sumini’s dad abandoned her shortly after her birth. Her mother, blaming Sumini for her dad’s departure, severely neglected and at least, verbally abused her. Sumini came to live with me a year ago when she almost died from severe untreated malaria. Now, I was not about to tell my 5 year old that her dad had left because he didn’t want to care for her, so I just said that her dad was very far away where we couldn’t see him. She told me she wanted to pray for her dad and I thought that sounded like a great idea. But when she prayed, Sumini didn’t pray for God to bless her dad as I had assumed she would, she prayed that she could SEE her dad. Oh, boy, I thought. Again Wednesday night she prayed that she could see her dad. I will admit, I was a little angry this time. I have given her everything she could ever need or want. Her dad abandoned her when she was born and hasn’t so much as attempted to see her. If not for me, she wouldn’t be alive and her dad wouldn’t know or care. “Ok, shut up,” I said to myself. What could you possibly have to be jealous of, after all, she’s 5; she doesn’t mean anything by it!

Thursday morning a man showed up at my gate....

Go read the rest.  You won't believe what happens.  You really won't and it will renew your faith in prayer. I'll give you a hint: a lot more happens after he shows up at the gate.   Then add her blog to your reader.  When you are done with that, read the rest of her blog and go check out her organiation, Amazina.

Toddler and Preschooler Sleep Wisdom: Dealing With Nightmares

I remember waking at night as a little girl, scared from a bad dream.  I always ran to my parent's room and woke up my mom.  She would usually let me climb into bed next to her.  It was always a strategic move to go to Mom because Dad wasn't likely to let me climb into bed.  Word has it I wasn't the most fun to sleep with. Probably much like your preschoolers. 

My oldest daughter has always had nightmares.  She wakes up screaming.  She doesn't come to my room and quietly ask to climb into bed with me.  Sometimes she doesn't calm down even when we go to her.  I believe this is when her nightmares cross over the line to night terrors.  During these episodes she usually just sits in bed screaming and crying, not making sense.  After a nightmare she is often disoriented.  She has a difficult time distinguishing between dream and reality.  Sometimes she is so scared after having a dream about, say, ants, that she won't go back into her room because she is so sure there are ants in there. 

Here is what we've learned so far;

• Talk about what dreams are during the daytime.  Discuss the difference between dreams and reality in terms they can understand.  It can be a difficult idea to grasp so think of as many different ways to describe it as you can. 
• Discuss what kind of good dreams he or she would like to have before bedtime. Suggest that he can have dreams about playing at the park or visiting grandma and grandpa.  We discovered my daughter didn't realize there were such things as good dreams and was really excited at the thought of having happy dreams.
• Say prayers before bedtime.
• When she wakes up from a nightmare, do what you can to comfort her and calm her down. If she needs to crawl into bed with you that is OK.  Even if it isn't what you would normally do.  Sometimes a bit of extra comfort is in order.  Sometimes we have to turn on the lights to show her that it was just a dream and there really aren't any ants in the bed.  Talk about what good dreams she'd like to have when she falls back asleep.

Do your kids have nightmares? How do you handle nightmares in your house?  What would you suggest to others?

Related Posts:

Toddler and Preschooler Sleep Wisdom: Consistency

All of your toddler and preschooler sleep questions answered

**And by the way, I am no more "wise" than the next mom.  This is just what I've learned!**

The essentials for breastfeeding

Even though breastfeeding is natural, it doesn't always come naturally.  If you are planning to breastfeed your baby I'd recommend learning how to do it before you have to do it.  There are classes out there but you could probably do just as well reading a book.  These are the things I found necessary for successful breastfeeding.

The Nursing Mother's Companion.  This is the best book out there and you'll be glad you have it.  I went back to it time and time again with my first two babies.  It was invaluable.

The phone number of a lactation consultant.  Many women have difficulty in the beginning and calling a lactation consultant within the first couple days of breastfeeding if you are having pain or problems with the baby latching is one of the wisest moves you can make.  Ask your doctor for a recommendation ahead of time.

My Breast Friend.  I had a Boppy with my first baby and I think it actually caused some of the problems I had breastfeeding.  I got a My Breast Friend and love it 100 times more than a Boppy.  Of course, a boppy comes in really handy when baby is learning to sit and a MBF isn't useful in that way, but I digress.

Lily Padz.  These are the best there is when it comes to breast pads.  At first you'll definitely want something that absorbs more so get some disposable pads.  The cloth ones don't hold much.

Soothies.  I loved these for the first few weeks.  I am the only person in the world that had an allergic reaction to Lanolin (which is highly recommended as a way of soothing sore nipples).

Nursing Tank.  I wore these almost exclusively during the first month.  The soft cotton was way more comfortable and it was easier to get a little air, if you get my drift.  I prefer the kind that you unhook the clasp and lower rather than the kind you pull up or down.  I can't find a link to my favorite kind but I got them at Motherhood.  You'll need nursing bras too but I can't make a recommendation.  I've tried a lot of different ones and with each baby found I preferred something different.  

Breast Pump.  Which one you get depends on what you need it for but every nursing mother will need one if she wants to ever feed baby a bottle.  I had a hand pump with my first baby and hated it and therefore didn't use it.  It took a long time and was difficult to use.  I got an Ameda Purely Yours with my second and I am so glad I did.  A double pump electric is way more efficient.  They are a lot more expensive than hand pumps so it is up to you what way you want to go.  If you plan to give daily bottles or work you really need an electric double pump. 

Bottles.  Don't go nuts buying bottles before baby comes along.  Unfortunately, babies are often picky about which bottles they will drink from so you might have to experiment with different types.  My girls actually tended to like the cheaper Gerber bottles the best. 

A nursing cover is nice to have but not absolutely necessary.  I started using one with my third baby and it is nice when you are in a restaurant or at your in-laws.  

Here is my best breastfeeding advice for the first few weeks.  Always get comfortable and get a glass of water first.  Sit somewhere your feet are firmly on the ground (or a stool).  Don't slouch over, put a pillow behind you if need be. If baby isn't latching correctly, don't be afraid to start over again and again until you get a good latch.  If you are having pain, call your LC.  Air out as often as possible to help with any healing that needs to occur. 

What did I miss?  Did you find all of this necessary or is your list of "must haves" shorter?  Any good advice for the newbies?